It's called facial Nair. Let's talk about it. a.k.a. the post that's gonna get me porn ads

Thanks to my dad's genetics I grew up with what I would call a strong brow and some big-freakin'-looks-like-I-had-injections-lips.

For years I believed two things about these assets. 1. My brows were amazing and did not need plucking. This is most like b/c my cousins continually told me how envious they were of my nice strong brows and their shape. I should have know better. These were also the bitches* that threw a ball into an elevator at my grandparent's high rise apartment in Detroit and sent me after it, which resulted in the most terrifying experience for a 3-year-old EVER. and 2. That I didn't have a mustache like many a lady in my dad's family, rather I had a shadow on my upper lip caused by the lip itself.

Then I met Jenny and Laura. And one day sophomore year of college they were all "Okay, so Em we've been friends for a year now and we just have to ask, what the fuck is w/ your eyebrows and your stache."
Me: "What? You guys I have perfect brows and this is not a stache it's a shadow, duh? From my big, beautiful, move star lips. God, jealous much?!"

Then, they took me to a salon where a licensed professional had to the break the news to me in public that you can't braid a shadow and while my brows were nice and all this was 2002 and skinny brows were in.

And thus I was forever changed.

When the budget got tighter junior year I learned how to pluck my own brows and decided to try this Nair product shown above. Ladies--it works wonders. No pain, no problems. It's even shaped like lip gloss, with the angled applicator and everything!
So I'm asking you today. If you have a "shadow" of your own. Lie no more. Get yourself to the drug store and get yourself some facial Nair. Embarrassed? You can order it, in bulk no less, online here.

Don't get me wrong. I get what a pain in the ass all of this is. There are days when I wonder "When will the grooming be done?" Like I was late for work today b/c I had to trim my toenails. But then I look at MC and he's all nice and hair free and I honestly feel like a horrible wife b/c I can't remember the last time I took the bikini area Nair--now with roll on applicator!-- down there. (Don't judge, the way I see it Jenny and Laura aren't looking and my beach vacation is a good month away so I'm in no hurry and hey I trimmed my toenails today so cut me some slack).

But your face, ladies, that you are presenting to the world. **


* I can call my cousins bitches b/c, yes, we are that close and they know I heart them but will never forgive the brow thing. Although, I did once tell one of their prom dates he looked like a Skittle so we may be even.
**Strippers and hookers of the world, I'm gonna go ahead and advise you to keep up on the upper lip hair and the lower area hair removal b/c I mean you are kind presenting that region to the world too.