Dual action cleanser and if I weren't such a careless bitch this post would come with photos

MC and I had another busy, expensive, reliving-our-youth, thus, wonderful weekend in East Lansing.

Like most married couples, we spent our Saturday night at a gay bar.

(It was Manny’s birthday).

I forgot my camera which NEVER happens. So, Marty was all “you can use my camera, you are better are taking pics and I’ll upload them”.

Which was a great plan, till I lost Marty’s camera…or rather someone at the bar had sticky fingers b/c it was sitting next to me on the bar all night. $40 worth of drinks later and it was--poof-- gone. Funny how drunks are easy targets for theft.

Luckily Marty was very kind about it. Mostly because he knows to replace his camera would be my entire year's salary.

Yesterday, while in hang over recovery, we all watched this infomercial on Dual Action Cleanse, a two part product that colon cleanses. Being that we were all full of fried eggs and hippie hash, it was very appealing b/c honestly a colon cleanse sounded really good right about then.

Although we were on water on the rocks at this point, we invented a drinking game to go along with the infomercial.

If they say fecal matter = 1 drink

If you see the words fecal matter displayed on the screen you drink till they go away

Obsessive clip art usage = two drinks

It was fun.

Then on the ride home yesterday MC and I were munching on combos (pretzel and cheddar, my fav) and frozen cokes when I had this idea. It had been raining for about 100 days, which was better than snow but still making me very depressed.

I suggested that we buy a trailer on the beach in Michigan and one on the beach in Florida, quit our jobs and become servers, living in each location for six months out of the year.

MC agreed.

Then obviously, we realized we are far too predictable and Midwest to actually do this and went back to our combos and frozen cokes.

Except today was a horrible day and it got me thinking about how disenchanted I've become with this whole, go to college, get a job, buy a house, American dream shit.

I've done everything right my entire professional life. Good school, internships, worked late, worked weekends, come up with creative ways to sell products, etc. In fact, exactly a year ago the editor of the daily where I worked approached me in a restaurant because I'd been out of the office that week. He just had to tell me how happy he was with my work and how I was just what newspapers needed to draw in young readers.

Less than a year later that same editor said it was him not me but I still had to pack my shit and go. And no I could no longer write my column for them.

I really don't know anyone who is super happy with their job and since we spend most of our time at work it really hurts my feelings that we all kinda hate it.

Maybe I would be happier if I left the newspaper biz and served french fries and draft beers to tourists. Then again, maybe I'd be bitter that I have a journalism degree from one of the best journalism schools in the country and I'm serving beers and fries to tourists and living in a trailer.

I really don't know. What I do know is that despite my best efforts I have not found what truly makes me happy in life. Thus, I have not found my destiny. Which I guess, hey I'm only 27 I've got some time.

But I also know life is too short not to figure it out pretty quickly. And so my search continues and I ask you: If you could live outside of the life that you've found yourself in, what would you do? Where would you go? Who would you tell off along the way?

(FYI I may steal your idea if it's a good one)

In the meantime, I'm investing in some Dual Action. The infomercial said that a back up of fecal matter (take that drink) can make a person pretty bitter and miserable. Perhaps I'm just full of shit.