When I was little my parents gossiped using a code so that us kids couldn't figure out what they were talking about. Yes, genus.
One of their commonly used phrases was DINK.
They used this often when talking about someone's elaborate vacation or expensive new car or ya know new VCR (This was the early, early 1980s after all and VCRs were expensive). So I knew it meant something good.
DINK stands for Double Income No Kids.
And so it's only natural that it came up when my parents, OIFK (One Income Four Kids) talked about people getting ridiculous things that only DINKs would buy/do.
In these months of trying to expand our family MC and I (confirmed DINKs) have had our shares of ups and downs. (Mostly downs, I mean have you looked at Facebook lately — everyone is pregnant).
In all honesty, it's easy for me to see how such an issue can easily and swiftly destroy a marriage. The words blame, loneliness, anger and fear, rise to the top of the emotions one who wants a baby but can not have one feels. So when two people, who spend a great deal of time together (after all getting a baby naturally does require some time together) have these feelings swirling around inside it's easy to take it out on one another. In fact, it's too easy. It's scarily easy.
In all honesty, it's easy for me to see how such an issue can easily and swiftly destroy a marriage. The words blame, loneliness, anger and fear, rise to the top of the emotions one who wants a baby but can not have one feels. So when two people, who spend a great deal of time together (after all getting a baby naturally does require some time together) have these feelings swirling around inside it's easy to take it out on one another. In fact, it's too easy. It's scarily easy.
When you get rational, however, it makes no sense.
How can two people, who love each so much they want to create a person made up of parts of both of them, be pushed away from each other because it doesn't work when they want it to work?
How can two people, who love each so much they want to create a person made up of parts of both of them, be pushed away from each other because it doesn't work when they want it to work?
And while I do love to be irrational, I'm going to be rational and say it makes no sense.
In these trying times I'm going to remember that I married MC to marry him and nothing else.
We are using this time in between just us and us and them to enjoy each other, not destroy each other.
An added bonus is that we get to embrace our DINK-dom by going out to eat, hosting parties, traveling, seeing movies, buying furniture, cuddling on the couch, drinkig lots and lots of Miller Lite and who knows we might even buy a VCR.
1 comment:
So so funny. My mom's two sisters are both married with no kids and my whole life, when my mom told my dad how jealous she was that they went on these great vacations, my dad's response was always "they are DINKs, of course they have a bunch of money!"
I am sure the feeling of accomplishment from raising 3 kids is something that sticks with you a lot longer than a trip to Hawaii. My parents are lucky to have me.
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